How dogs and cats view the world.
How dogs look at life and how cats look at life:
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:00 am - Went to the vet. Bummer.
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with people! My favorite!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they
merely made
condescending comments about what a 'good little
hunter' I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my
confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I
must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage..
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my
every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an
elevated cell, so he is
safe -- For now ...
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